Author: Gaz Quaggan @GazQuaggan

I was in the supermarket and I saw a sign saying "try something new today". So I shat in one of their freezers and stole a trolley load of booze.

I got caught in a shower last week. Thats the last time I try to fuck a plughole! 

And hey....... How do you make a woman scream for an hour after sex?Wipe your knob on the curtains.

Why did God create Eve? Adam demanded it, as soon as he discovered that he couldn’t suck his own cock. 🤔🤭😄😄

My uncle was jailed for his beliefs. He believed you could wank on the bus. 🤔🤭💦🤣🤪

Knock, knock Who’s there? Doctor Doctor who? No, Doctor Shipman. Is your gran in?

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why, she said, "because I’m trying to examine you!"

And hey....... Just got back from the World Strawberry Picking Championships. Lost in the final to a girl with no legs. Jammy cunt.

A lesbian goes to a nutritionist because she had indigestion.  The nutritionist says, "It’s simple dear, you are what you eat."  So the lesbian turns to him and says, "are you calling me a cunt?"