They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently I ruined that funeral.
I used to sleep with a set of twins. People always asked how I could tell them apart. I said it's easy, Mary always paints her nails purple.....and George has a cock....
Son: Why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Because your mum loves Easter, it's an anagram. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Alan.
Apparently Bin Laden's wife was terrible at hand jobs. They called her the terror-wrist.
To a dog, everything is food until proven otherwise.
How do you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard. 🤔🤭🙄🤗
Attention Seeking Cunt Disorder