Anybody can masturbate under a sheet...... but it takes real skill to do it without the barber noticing!
I want to ride my bicycle.......I want to ride my bike 🚲🤪🤣
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently I ruined that funeral.
I used to sleep with a set of twins. People always asked how I could tell them apart. I said it's easy, Mary always paints her nails purple.....and George has a cock....
Son: Why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Because your mum loves Easter, it's an anagram. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Alan.
Apparently Bin Laden's wife was terrible at hand jobs. They called her the terror-wrist.