To a dog, everything is food until proven otherwise.
How do you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard. 🤔🤭🙄🤗
Attention Seeking Cunt Disorder
What is soft and warm when you go to bed but hard and stiff when you wake up? Vomit
Those bastards in the pub, they told me it would be okay to keep a chicken in the freezer for up to three months. I put one in last night, and when I checked this morning, it was fucking dead.
I was in the supermarket and I saw a sign saying "try something new today". So I shat in one of their freezers and stole a trolley load of booze.
I got caught in a shower last week. Thats the last time I try to fuck a plughole!