Have you ever watched a dog having a shit? Eh? I mean have you ever really, really watched he/she/it doing its business? No? Well before I go into that, and I know you can’t wait for me to explore this ‘doggy-doo’ theme (and are as excited as me at the prospect)…. I’m thinking what is actually the correct salutation for addressing one of our canine friends?
Oh and before we explore that theme (that’s two themes on the go at once….arghh), who the fuck thought it was appropriate to call dogs canine? Eh? I mean they’re not made of freaking tin and look nothing like a metallic vessel for storing foodstuffs in (that’s the can bit if I’ve lost you already)….and are not all aged 9!! Nope! They’re lovable creatures and all cuddly and woolly – okay furry (unless of course if they’re wearing a jumper – but hey, only in winter…or after a really bad haircut) and they come (steady you rude person) in all blooming ages, from 0 to…well loads of years. Anyway – ‘canine’ my arse…… it’s all………….
Intrigued?? Well if you’re gagging for the other 2,000 or so words that make up this story (and I’ll bet someone else’s house that you are)………..then you’re gonna have to pop your hand in your pocket (the one with the dosh in it) and treat yourself to a copy of ‘But Not Big To Dinosaurs’……which is full to bursting with loads more of this fantastic and inspirational stuff!
Or…….and I know I’m pushing it now…….